In addition to your partner’s behavior, consider your own feelings and behavioral patterns in the context of the relationship. They may be constantly anxious about others’ loyalty, including yours. It can prevent you from maintaining other healthy relationships with family and friends as they are excessively attached and resistant to you engaging in activities without them. They may feel the need to control others around them. This can also present as passive-aggressive behavior. They may be guarded with their feelings and their expression and suspect that others are the same way. They may also be preoccupied with potential threats and discovering evidence of those threats, even if they are not grounded in reality. They may develop a generally negative attitude and seem to be blocked from happiness and experiences of love. They may hold grudges and be inflexible with their ideas and conversations, especially when holding onto mistaken paranoid beliefs. They may also mistakenly place blame on you or on others. They may be judgmental-whether they express it or not-and verbally insulting, lacking sensitivity for your feelings. They may doubt your love and expressions of constancy. They can be very resistant to trusting others and may even insist on proof of your whereabouts and activities when you’re not together. The imbalance between their perspective and the real truths about their partner and the relationship can pose numerous challenges: Especially if they are not participating in clinical treatment and therapy, they may not be able to maintain a clear view of their mistaken perceptions, so their disordered paranoia becomes their reality. The usual relationship challenges are heightened and intensified when a partner has paranoid personality disorder (PPD). With professional care and therapy, both partners in a relationship can learn to bring compassion and understanding to the symptoms of the personality disorder and start to redirect the experiences of fear in more positive directions. The problem is that many people with the disorder do not seek treatment. While the difficulty introduces issues to address, it doesn’t mean that having a relationship with someone who’s been diagnosed with paranoid personality disorder is impossible. The interaction of paranoid personality disorder and relationships can be a very sensitive one because close partnerships are built on trust, and those with the disorder find trusting others to be very difficult. It’s not that they want to believe that you might be sneaking around, keeping secrets from them, or otherwise betraying their trust, but they do believe these kinds of things-regardless of the truth of the situation and your intentions. Paranoid personality disorder overstimulates their fear response, and they can go through their days experiencing an exaggerated negative spin on most events and interactions. It’s as if they have glasses on that distort the picture of your life together. When you are in a relationship with someone who has paranoid personality disorder, it can feel as if they never see you for who you really are.
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